Like Souls That Balance Joy And Pain
by TamariChan
Summary: The love of a queen for her knight. "George can't say he didn't see it coming...despite Alanna's assurances that she is now a one-man woman. But he didn't expect it to go quite like this."


**Disclaimer: The characters and the world of Tortall belong to the lovely Tamora Pierce.**

**Warning: contains infidelity and femmeslash  
**

"For they will live forever, their names and deeds handed down from father to son, mother to daughter, in the legends of [King Jonathan and his knights]."

-_King Arthur_, 2004

"Only a fool wants what he can not have."

-_First Knight_, 1995

"Like souls that balance joy and pain…"

-_Sir Launcelot and Queen Guinevere_, by Lord Alfred Tennyson

-:-

George can't say that he didn't see it coming. Despite Alanna's assurances that she is now a one-man woman (which is true, after all), he has prepared himself- just in case. He can't fall apart, melt, dissolve. He is busy, he is important, he has things to do and a life to live. He wants to live it with Alanna, so he will just steel himself (just in case) so he won't fall apart (crumblecollapse) if she cheats on him.

He did not expect it to go quite like this, however.

-:-

She is crying- not Alanna, Thayet. The queen looks beautiful even when she cries, and Alanna holds her as she sobs. Jonathan's face is drawn and strained. He knows what the law requires, but this is his peerless queen, his beautiful Thayet, and he loves her.

"Please, Jon," Thayet whispers, her hazel eyes meeting Jon's sapphire ones.

"You made your choice," Jon says, coolly, but George has known Jon since boyhood and inside, Jon is not cool or composed in the slightest.

"Don't do this, Jon," Alanna's voice is sharp.

"You have made your opinion quite clear as well, Sir Alanna," Jonathan clenches his fists. He looks to the door, where two armored guards face outward. "Guards!" He raises his voice. "Take her to a cell."

The men come toward Thayet and Alanna. George can see his wife's teeth clench as she looks at Jonathan. Fury radiates from her.

"Your majesty," she hisses, "You are making a mistake."

"You are lucky I do not have you killed as well," Jonathan says, his face red. "Treason is no trivial matter, whatever you seem to believe!" He gestures to the guards and they escort a sobbing Thayet out.

"Love isn't treason," retorts Alanna, and George feels like he has been stabbed. "I love her, and she loves me, and if that is treason, your majesty…" she trails off.

"What, Sir Alanna?"

"This kingdom can do without a champion, I suppose." She says, and George inhales sharply. "Good day, your majesty."

"You can't-" Jon sputters, but she is already gone. Jon has lost his champion and his queen, but he has his kingdom. George has lost Alanna, in a way he never expected, and there is nothing left but Thom, Alan, and Alianne. He is meltingcrumblingfalling as he leaves the room.

-:-

George was not the one to uncover the betrayal. Fittingly, it is Liam who discovers the relationship. Liam Ironarm fell in love with Alanna and almost took her away from George, but Liam of Conte is the one to take her away forever.

Thayet and Alanna are earth and fire, two warrior women who chose very different paths, who both loved Jonathan once upon a time. They are suited for each other in ways that George cannot understand.

But none of that matters when a queen's infidelity is exposed.

-:-

Thayet is sentenced to death on Traitor's Hill.

Jonathan's face is as hard as stone at the execution. Alanna should be sitting beside George, but she is not.

As Thayet climbs the hill, her wrists bound, Alanna arrives, as George halfway suspected she would. Her sword is flashing and her hair like an inferno in the sunlight, and everyone is watching. The man beside Thayet pauses, waiting for an order from Jon.

Jonathan does nothing.

There is an uproar among the crowd as Alanna swiftly unties Thayet and is back on her horse with Thayet seated behind her. She gives Jon a mocking salute and they ride away as Gary and Raoul argue with Jon half-heartedly.

Despite the large yelling crowd, George is alone.

-:-

George sees her only once more in the rest of his life. Jon's reign is in dire straits- he has remarried, a beautiful noblewoman half his age, and the son they produced has grown and now seeks to challenge Roald for the title of Crown Prince. George is overseeing a meeting between Tortall and the Yamani Islands (for Roald is married to Princess Shinkokami, and any change of succession will affect the Islands as well) when she appears.

The door is open, and he sees a flash of red hair. As always, he can't help but turn, in some feeble anticipation that she will be there. It has been fifteen years, but he cannot give up hope.

But no, there she is, older but just as striking. She pauses in the doorway, and her violet eyes meet his for a moment. She smiles and he springs up but just as quickly, she is gone, and he is left to make pathetic excuses to the surprised delegates.

It could have been another woman, he supposes later- after all, he only caught a glimpse- but he can lie to himself all he likes. It was Alanna, and it is proof that she has moved on, and is happy- without him.

-:-

He watches his grandchildren play, and sees Thom and Alan's wives gossip and cast strange looks at Nawat, Aly's husband, who is visiting with their triplets. He supposes he is content, with a loving family (minus one, but the addition of a son-in-law, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren makes it ache a little less). He saw it coming after all (but all the preparation in the world wouldn't have made it better, as he knows now), and he doesn't want to be a bitter old man.

He just wishes he hadn't underestimated the love of a queen for her knight.


End file.
